The Dead Rise
There's more to a zombie than just a walking corpse. While its busy busting down your front door and scooping out your sister's brains you might not have time to think about that, but later, when you pause to reflect in the basement, hoping that door doesn't give way and wondering how much food you have down here, you might want to consider just where these damn dead guys came from. After all, the dead don't rise up and start consuming the flesh of the living for no reason at all. Behind every good zombie story there's a good (or at least amusing) back story.
"I have just informed the United Nations and our NATO allies of a recent discovery made by American scientist in Flagstaff Arizona. A previously unidentified comet is on a collision course with earth. Unless we find a way to prevent this comet impacting on our world, life as we know it will cease to exist. Fortunately the NASA and the United States Military have been working on finding a solution to this problem for several years. My advisors assure me that we can avert disaster. Life will go on"
-Presidential Speech, October 12, 1999
"I am proud to be the first to tell the world to breathe easily. Operation Gaia's Shield has succeeded and the Earth is safe! At 17:23 Eastern Standard time, combined U.S., Russian, and Chinese missiles impacted with the Nemesis comet, effectively shattering it into hundreds of thousands of harmless pieces. Over the next few days we can expect to see no effects more noticeable than brilliant but harmless meteor showers around the globe. This incident proves that we as a world can work together for the safety of all humanity. God bless us every one."
-Presidential Speech, May 28, 2000
"I'm here this evening at Arlington National Cemetery, where Memorial Day remembrances have been going on throughout the day. This evening a large crowd has gathered for a free evening concert and fireworks display, a tribute to our brave men and women who died protecting this country. The occasion is made all the more special by the spectacular meteor shower that is lighting up the sky even as I speak. The President is scheduled to start speaking in just a few moments - Hold on a second - there seems to be some sort of commotion down by the graves - people running and screaming - let's get over there Tom - All right, I'm standing here overlooking the cemetery, there appears to be some sort of brawl going on - Oh my God! Jesus what is that?!?"
-CNN Live, May 29, 2000
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